A couple decades ago I learned a valuable lesson from an unusual source. I was attending a state-wide event with some friends. We were in a que waiting for the next event when one of them said “we all agree that X, right?” Turns out I didn’t agree that X but rather than be the ONLY person in the que that didn’t I hesitated briefly while considering response. Before I reached a conclusion two other people spoke up and admitted that did NOT agree. And then two more. Unlikely allies. Fast forward two years. Sitting in a dressing room waiting for the show to open. Again someone opines “we all agree that Y is an idiot, right?” Without hesitating I responded “probably not.” I was followed by two others who quickly chimed in “nope.” Further discussion did NOT erupt.
Fast forward to today. I’ve been subbing for eight years. Been coming to this school for six and the HS building sub for three. I’ve achieved a comfort level with most of the faculty. But there are half a dozen or more new members every year. And one would think they’d try to feel out the temperature of the teachers lounge. Read the room as the interwebs say. But they can’t be bothered with that.
And so it was that one of the new ones decided to open lunch with an oration about how awful and redneck and conservative small towns were. The town that was the basis for his lecture has a population of about 40k. I’m quite familiar with it. It’s about ten times larger than the village in which I grew up and about eight times larger than the community in which we’re currently teaching. So I’m pretty sure he was talking about ME even though he was NOT talking about me. But he felt comfortable stereotyping and demeaning a significant part of the population, without realizing that SOME folks in the room might fall into those categories and be offended. And I know at least one other person in the room WAS offended because we have … certain things in common.
I didn’t speak up. Didn’t feel the need. I’ll just let the bigots continue to self identify. And I now know very clearly how this teacher feels about me … or would, if he knew who I was, rather than assuming that I’m just like him because we happen to occupy the same faculty lounge. Could I change his mind? Probably. But would it be worth it? And would it stick? And would he be willing to apply the lesson learned to other like situations? Doubtful. So we’ll allow him to continue to espouse his beliefs until such time as he over-reaches, which he likely will. And then we’ll speak up. Like those good folks in the que.

