with apologies to the Bangels and Simon & Garfunkle. I’ve written about facing/accepting aging before but got some negative feedback on it so I let the thread drop. Then this week I was given a link to Tim Urban’s blog Wait, But Why? I’m enjoying the recent writings and have shared several links. But not this one. This one I saved until now. Memorial Day.
Those of you who have been around for a while might recall that I’ve been doing an annual circuit of the local grave sites of my ancestors. Most years lately I’ve been accompanied by The Boy but he has a small squirming daughter to care for now so won’t be taking the trip. Last year mom accompanied me. Makes for a pleasant drive – having someone else along. But I’ve been doing this for a decade or more. Was thinking about taking this year off. But … mom. And this post. Called the tail end.
John Hancock says I’ll live another 19 years. Which means I’ll die younger than both of my parents. Don’t think that’s gonna happen but I’ll use it for the purpose of this post. Mom’s looking at 96. Eight more years. She’s in pretty good shape physically. Eyes not bad. Hearing going. And sadly, memory is slipping. Not willing to use 8 years here. I’m gonna say 4.
Four more Memorial Day tours. Four more Christmases, Easters, Thanksgivings. Four. So you damned well better BET I’m taking her this year. I spend, on average, 3-6 hours per week with mom. On the low end that’s 150 hours per year. So 600 hours left. That’s less than a month. Just saying.
Now, to get a tad more personal.
I have 19 more Super Bowls. And Christmases. And Fantasy Football League seasons. And other annual things. The WJHS Class of ’76 has a reunion every 5 years. Next one will be in ’26. And I’ll have THREE after that. I’ve been to TWO regular season NFL games so far. I MIGHT get one more. But the odds drop under 50% pretty soon.
Pizza three times a month? That’s 684 more pizzas.
And my beloved OYC group? The Secret Seven. In the last 49 years we’ve spent probably spent 150 days together (Fair, Europe, Messiah, reunions, etc.) And MOST of us don’t have the 19 years I do. So we MIGHT have already HAD our last full gathering. But let’s say we miraculously begin to put together a weekend every year, for a day and a half. That’s gonna be roughly 30 days. So MAYBE 15% of our total time is left.
If you’re in your last 10% of time with someone you love, keep that fact in the front of your mind when you’re with them and treat that time as what it actually is: precious.
edit to add: I was remiss. In that 19 remaining years I will hopefully see my grand-daughter graduate from HS if there IS such a thing in the 40’s. And first boyfriends. And ponies. And stuff.